Hello, Everyone:
I think I am taking a chance posting here, but I'm frustrated without resources. I hope someone here can help, because I have been searching for feedback since I leraned this last week. I can't be the only person who has experienced this, but it seems like it from my search. This is is a serious issue that has a lot of visible and hidden pain.
I knew the woman I love had been carrying a secret of abuse for 30 years. She had never shared any details with me, and I had let it go as she would tell me when she was ready to tell or it would just hang there unanswered forever. She had a breakdown recently and entered a therapy program for depression. She isolated herself, which I didn't understand at the time, and just before I gave up because I was convinced her problem was me, she asked me to talk.
She said she was going to lay "verbal vomit" on me, and she did. I heard of molestation by an uncle when she was 7, and that matched pretty much what I expected to hear. However, I was stunned when she went on and on about a lifetime of abuse and rape that damaged her self-image to the point where when she was struggling to survive she resorted to 3 years of prostitution and sexual-slavery. She had kept all this to herself her entire life, and besides her group I am the only other person who knows everything. I was devestated for her, and we talked and cried and hugged for the next 4 hours.
I was in a previous relationship with an abuse victim, so I have seen what that can do to a person. My request for this forum is feedback from anyone who has discovered their partner engaged in prostitution. There are hundreds of stories from wives. I have yet to find anything related to this situation.
I have all sorts of feelings about what I learned, and I mostly want to sort out and validate my feelings. I really love this woman. I will share the rest of this story if it is relevant, but I am asking for non-biased responses. How did you feel when you learned the news? How are you coping or not coping? How did your feelings (for your partner, relationship, you, or whatever) change as time went on? What else?
If my request is inappropriate, please just tell me and don't flame. I tried to ask on another forum and my account cancelled.
Thank you