Hey all,

So my story is such... I am a virgin, by choice i have abstained but now i am dating a girl who has confessed to being sexually involved with six men. She is twenty years old. We were both raised under the same religious views of abstanance, but she didnt hold to them. I must state upfront i do not look down on her for having sex. My problem is that i have always hoped for marrying a girl who had saved herself like i have. i know that most people are saying at this point, then just stop dating her and move on to another virgin. Problem is... i love her. i try to bottle up the thought of her being with another guy, but it always comes back up. When i think about it, it hurts. I almost get sick. She claims she did it for attention, and doesnt really remember any specifics now...

My question for you, the viewers is this... i am sure a few of you have been/are in this situation... Can I overcome this, or is it going to be something that will haunt our lives? I wont allow myself to have sex with her before marriage, but after we do have sex, will i always be thinking in the back of my mind, is she comparing me? am i good? has she had bigger? etc...

I want this to work out... but i need your advice. I know that now a days sex is normal, but it has been something i have held as special for my future wife... now that my possible wife has been with six men in the past four years it just makes me feel cheated and i want to get your oppinions. Has anyone been in this situation? i appreciate your advice,

Davey,

lol why didn't you just take dave like you did for the women forum instead of my name...but anyway I left u something in the women forum, I'm davey ova there....hope it helps

I think if you love each other then physical conditions like virginity never make any difference it depends upon you that how you react on this matter...and very important thing that she has not broken your trust and confessed everything..with true heart and left choice for you...just think that she has not told you truth ..what will be your condition at that time....

So forget about the past and stay in present ..and decide what will you do...

Dude this type of post is classic madonna-***** complex

It's a general issue which most men have and it's based on a huge misunderstanding about women.

Scenario:

Your seeing a girl, she's cute, definitely girlfriend material on looks, you spend a bit of time with her and she ends up having sex with you.

You later hang out and find she is interesting, smart and you really enjoy her company but still can't shake the idea that she's a FILTHY ***** and decide she must be a **** to have done what she did.. You don't believe that she made the decision to have sex with you on the basis of how much she liked you and decide that she must be like that with everybody.. Because of your negative social programming you proclaim to yourself that she is a FILTHY **** and resolve to only like women who make you wait in future.

This is classic MAN mentality and it's a real poison in society right now..

So what is the madonna ***** complex. Urban dictionary has a nice summary..

It's the seemingly conflicting desires that some (but certainly not all) men have for a woman who is experienced in the bedroom and unashamed of showing sexual prowess ("*****"), but at the same time a woman who is wholesome, clean and nuturing ("madonna"), particularly enough to not be branded a "****".

This concept is due to having a large population of sexually frustrated people (both men AND women) who were raised to believe that sexual activity or just being sexy is a dirty and shameful act, and a society where both men and women have been led to believe that women have to either be complete prudes or totally promiscuous.

Don't let this be you.. See sex for what it is, two people having fun and your relationships will get better as women realise that you will not brand them FILTHY *****S for ****ing you too fast. If you honestly asked any woman about her sexual history and you believe girls who sleep with men on the first night are all ****s, they would almost all be ****s to you..

Sex isn't something special to 'save' yourself for, it's a natural human desire and it's not something which should be connected with morality in any way. Your emotions are telling you that you like this girl, don't be an idiot and throw it away because she doesn't conform to your outdated and frankly fully wrong belief system.