nick

Loss of Libido (sexual desire)

A reduced interest in the desire for sex is experienced by most people at some age. It becomes a problem for a man when he can not longer satisfy the sexual needs of his partner. There are very many factors, both physical and emotional which can cause a lowering in libido. Physical causes include diseases and drugs. Emotional factors can be stress, worry, grief, anxiety about satisfying their partner, fear of the consequences of sexual activities like STDs, conflicts between partners, boredom in long term relationships etc. It is important for couples in long- term relationship to work actively at their sex life. Low sexual desire in older men can be caused by a low level of the hormone androgen. Hormonal deficiency can sometimes be treated with hormone injections. Discussing problems and being prepared to enjoy intimacy on all levels can help but couple may need professional counseling if there is a danger of a break down in their relationship.

Olivia-Grace

Yes ..very good post but i think one of the main problems certainly with older guys is they are not aware they are no longer satifying thier partner ..and if they are married or have been in a relationship a long time i think that so many couples just dont bother telling each other .."your not satisfying me" or perhaps "im not as satisfied as i *used* to be ..then it becomes an issue of communication , all very well saying it but many couples again dont bother with that ..they perhaps dont want to upset the status quo !! or rock the old boat ...so people then seek more satifying sex elsewhere ..there is also the issue of trying something *new* or different ..the problem is many women are not prepared to be open to expand thier sexual horizons (within the relationship) or as some couples do bring others into it ..which would be swinging ..personally i think that causes problems but i mention it becuse some couples do ! there shouldnt be a fear of STI as here in england we use the word "infection" rather than disease as many are easily treatable with modern antibiotics we have ...and once treated do NOT come back unless a person is foolish enough to reinfect his or herself ..using a condom will prevent any anxiety ..but may lesson the pleasure or sensation for the man and enjoyment also for the woman getting tested both together with a regular partner so a person dosent have to use condoms solves the situation ..in the case of a gay ..*promiscuous* man id advise condoms at all times until they test or stop risky behaviour . Boredom is a biggest heartbreaker then perhaps its best to take stock of the situation and ask yourself is it fair to live a lie of false happiness or constant fantasies about others you want or need till you drive yourself crazy and go on prozac or some antidepressant !! better to cut losses or have an amicaable arragement ! ..not the best solution but better THAN ! of ncourse the male macho thing theres not a lot of men prepared to go to councilling certainly not here in UK as this is seen as a weakness by men which it shouldnt be ...but thats the way it is . Ive never heard of ninjections but for difficulty with erections viagra is given after review by a doctor or the older man suddenly finds a younger woman and is worried that erections are not as strong or more difficult to maintain or perhaps non existant through diabetise or drink problems or just old age . Men do age quicker than woman and i do think its true women are inthier prime when men have finished the best of thier years ..early 20's a word of loss of sexual desire fro women ..all woman differ and i think NOT using the contraceptive pill as i never have ...sexual feelings and general body health is in better condition ..some womsn feel more aroused during a menstral period or highly aroused others dont all woman differ but i think in my opinion not playing around with nature using pills is best ...

hugo_belanger

My wife ( 37 years young) and I ( 34 years old)have been married for 11 years now and everything has been great up until the last year. She does not seem to want to have sexual relations anymore (once over the past 5 months). Is this normal? I have talked to her about my needs and wants and asked about hers and the response always seems to be that she is tired or stressed out.
My life with my wife and son are perfect except for this... how can I make things change?

Olivia-Grace

Hello Hugo - i do hope that you don't mind a woman replying to your post but i also hope, of course that you do get posts from guys and the male opinions. Im sorry your experiencing some anxiety within your personal life and im by no means qualified to give the best words to you ...im not a dr or in fact im not married but these are just my thoughts...you have been married for 11 years and as you state you are of course very much in love with your wife and im sure your wife too ..your question ? ..yes five months is a long time ...and i understand that must be difficult ..when you say *normal* i just thought ..when you think about this .."what is normal" ?? to me ...and if i was married perhaps 3 times a week ..or of course the moment can be spontaneous ! so perhaps even more ..i think it can depend on a womans sex drive ...but then agin i say all this but im not married so not nwith someone for eleven years ..but i dont want to sound in any way cruel or hurtful but im sure that when people marry but i dont know not all, the passion or the crazy lust that the couple has settles a little as you go on in your married life some couples find that boredom or the fact they know each others bodies so well and each others habits ..that excitement dies a little ..now you have a young son ..it could be that your wife needs to carefully divide her attention between both of you ...i mean its important to show a guy that hes very much loved and wanted and desired ...just as a woman requires that !! or i would wish that ..it dosent have to mean expensive gifts or gifts of anything ..i love you..really means so much to both ...i wish i could give better advice but obviously im just going by your post ..is your wife a passionate woman ...? or was she before now suddenly it changed ? maybe she is tired but is she out of shape ..if so its important nto stay trim and keep energetic ..to give lots of love to the husband and of course keep up with the houswork and look after the kids ..some woman find these tasks very tiring and others dont ! every woman is different ! perhaps the spark has just fizzled out i dont know but stress really shouldnt be a reason actually the other way around stess can make a person feel very aroused !...i hope you can work it out but its best to say look i want to speak to you ...we must talk ..avoiding it will only make it worse ..hope things improve

samee

Hi dear, this is very natural process. You do not need to think much on this. As years n years get added into your married life, this is the very common thing which we come to see everywhere. Still if you wish to bring some romance into your relationship, ask her to come on long drive, help her into her kitchen task, bring some fresh flowers to cheers her, give her some surprises like arranged a candle light dinner for her and invite her, at the same night gift her ring, etc.. all these thing may bring some romance into your relationship and gradually it can increase your love life. Cheers

questioning

My boyfriend and I have been together 9 months. He's 35 and I am 44. In the beginning of our relationship, the sex was wild, spontaneous and often. We pretty much went from 2 dates to living together. Now we are moving across states and in a very stressful time. He has quit his job to prepare for the move and selling most all of his things to come with me. I am well aware of how stressful this is for both of us; however, lately our sex life is really suffering. Since leaving his job, I've noticed that he doesn't last very long when we do have sex. Also, the frequency of sex has drastically diminished and the spontenaity as well as the passion is waning. I'd like to think that this is all stress related. My fears as an older woman is that he has lost interest in me. I know that porn and chatting on line with other woman were a big part of life prior to me. I don't know the frequency of which he still engages in either; if it is total lack of desire, I assume he wouldn't want to be physical with me, or that interested in porn or other fantasies. Of course, there is no way to know if sex with me is being supplemented with porn, or if it is just lack of desire for me, or due to stress. I would appreciate it if any one has any advise. Lonely and hurt and feel rejected.

julius121

You need to just clear your head out and forget about your troubles. That is really the best thing for you. Exercising and dieting is always a suggestion but for some it never works. My personal experience is just to take your mind off the situation.

Ishana

Dear Questioning,
I can so relate with how you are feeling. When a partner does not reach out to you, does not demonstrate that they desire you, and when you are feeling sexually unsatisfied, it can really hurt. I am in a similar situation and came here for some insight and help figuring out how to approach the subject. My response to you - as an objective outsider - is to ask if you have discussed this with your boyfriend? How does it feel when you think about bringing the subject up?

I am hoping to find a way to discuss his lack of sexual interest with my fiancee in a way that strengthens our relationship - I just haven't figured out how to do it without hurting his feelings.

I wish you the best in your relationship - please keep us posted on how things are going!