Interesting ..see what you what you think guy's . In the last few years a remarkable change has taken place in Britain and many other Western Countries. Huge numbers of men and women are looking at explicit sexual material on the net .Stats indicate that sex is by far the most poplular search term on the web. While the Government has announced plans to try to criminalize "extreme pornography" that involves depictions of sexual violence, there are no plans to restict "boy meets girl" sexual activity . In short Porn or erotica is here to stay. Can it be part of normal relationship? that would be a qualified yes! there is no doubt that many couples experiment using an aid to perk up thier sex lives watching a DVD ect ...and sex education Dvd are ofen arousing as well as informative..
How (SOME) women see it - there has always been a difference between men and women where porn is concerned . Men tend to be aroused by things they see while (some) women prefer the images and fantasies they have in thier heads. For this reason they often dont like or enjoy the same porn as the guy, also women say they do nnot find sitting in front of a desktop very conductive to arousal ! (some women can feel inferior about the bodily "perfection" of the women in porn ...it can put them off sex rather than turn them on to it. ..*note -womens-health* !! They can feel threatened or jelous by the mans enjoyment of these images and quickly feel if the man is enthusiastic about porn he must be losing interest in her ..sometimes this is true ..sometimes not ..
So - how men see it ...men in no way view porn as solo sex as a sign of infidelity ..!!
Availability of eccentric sexual material !! A quick web search will return sites that most people would find upsetting they cover topics such as incest, coprophilia (sex involving faeces) and zoophililia (sex with animals) Unless your compiling a texbook of sexual psychopathology, these sites are best avoided . Various "experts" from Relate and the British Association of Sexual and Relationship Therapy have reported that solitary use of porn is a huge factor in relationship breakdown and is "spiralling" out of control . In the December 2007 edition of the Institute Of Psychosexual Medicine Journal, consultant psychologist Glyn Hudson Allez says " Internet addiction is a manifestation of sexual addiction . Sex addiction is when a certain behaviour carnt stop, even in the face of negative consiquences ! when is it a prob ? If it is discussed before it becomes a huge problem, than the conversation can be calm and the woman can explain what works for her and what dosent ...such conversation could include sexual relationship in general, and look at whether either party would like more variety - and if so what ..sometimes women know thier partner is using porn to masturbate, but willdecide not to broach the subject ! but if you avoid saying anything until it becomes a prob, talking may longer be effective!! A man well on his way to addiction may promise to change and stop viewing internet images, but he probably wont . He may start assuring his partner he loves her, but he wont stop accessing porn. he may break down crying ! and swear he longs to give up on the porno ...but its unlikely he will change unless he gets proffessional help - (im deciding not to comment on the above ) see what you guys think ...but as a woman ..i do think if a woman is having these problems ...suddenly scaring the life out of your partner by trying nto be the porno queen ...particularly if they *know* they are unattractive or very overwieght ect ...its ridiculous to try and compete with the images they guys has been looking at ..i could imagine a man feeling only more anger at seeing his usually quiet wife ...greeting him after work ...with a fake wig ..pretending they are pamela anderson ..and ranting on about anal sex !!! Accept if your not that way and dont lower yourself ..and go down the desparate path ..that was for the women !..(H)

In this article it says in our practise we have never seen a woman addicted to porn or who preferred it to having sex with a partner...interestingly it also says ..."we have recieved a lot of complaints from woman who are distressed that thier male partners no longer want to make love to them, preferring to spend hours masturbating with porn|!! Just thought id post that ...see anyones thought ...age old subject ..but always interesting ..

If you'd rather watch porn than have the real thing you've got problems. I'd wager most men turn-off the computer when sex is offered.

Good morning Sinister Urge ..thanks for reading the post ..im just quoting an article there ..of course you know im a woman ..well i can assure you i am ..i was known as Private Flangeamin on another forum ..if you chanced upon my posts ..you may already be aware of my opinion on the subject of porn ..it may have surprised a lot of people ..im sure it did given the fact that most people tend to "assume" that vicar's sisters seem nto have some "issues" with sex or certainly be "uptight" with issues about sex . Actually, not at all ..i fully understand both sides of the coin so to speak ...the thing is , regarding porn, now its clear you are still very much attracted to your wife , which is good news , but it is a fact when couples most couples do marry ..or perhaps are living together for years and years, they may also have children that that adrenaline rush , that intense lust and desire does wane ..and they settle inkto domestisity !! they become very familiar with each others habits in every way!! ...there is relaxation and the feeling for a lot of men and women, they dont have to "try" , by that i mean they dont have to win the partner over ..woo them..dont really have to be trying as *hard* as they did with thier appearance ..person grooming ..keeping in shape ect as they did when they first dated or became lovers ..and the guy wanted to marry the woman . Sex with the partner is readily available !!..it may be the woman is concentrating on children (and rightly so, when they are toddlers the time they need the mummy ) but it is about being *AWARE* of getting the fine balance between making time to give your husband the attention he may feel he is missing ..keeping or trying to keep yourself looking as good as you did when you first met ..perhaps retaining some mystery ..im talking about having conversation with husband perhaps when the woman is seated on the lavatory when hes in the shower ..all this breeds perhaps a little too much familiarity ...for the woman ..have some nprivate moments and the same for the guy ..
Saying all this ..it can make not a jot of differance!! the fact the couple is married ..it is also a fact men will always , look , lust after , fantasize, want and desire , younger , prettier , (more) sexually attractive women or the woman who is clearly fertile ..(she has not had the change of life)..its a biological fact ..a good healthy in shape sexually attractive body and of course the attractive wrinkle free face ..the purt breasts ..and also the fact she hasnt had a baby ..or had a vaginal delivery ..there is a vast difference ...so really you know as a man ..thats a fact . Now , you know im able to understand that ,,,but as a woman i do NOT understand how any woman can not grasp the concept !! I mean you know its the head in the sand approach , or they turn into women haters ..or just downright nasty people to be around ..through of ncourse thier own insecurities ...OR they go the other way, which i have spoken about in the post you replied to ..and they try to emulate these women ..like getting "fake" breast implants ...and in the case of younger women who are single ..contantly jumping on the bandwagon of "im a lesbian" kissing thier female friends in nightclubs ..pretending they are gay ..to turn a guy on ..seems every kid now is talking about the threesome they had last night with thier boyfriend "because ITS COOL" yes in thier little little deluded worlds ...and it is very sad that from an early age women are desperate to live up to this act in the hope men might think they are sexy !! very sad ...but perherps they do need help . Agin the issue with porn with relationship , im afraid it is a fact that many men do choose to marry or have a long term relationship with a woman who other men dont find attractive ...she is the breeder and they dont want to take any chances of another man finding her attractive !!! so therefore so they wont have to feel threatend by another guy they might choose a plane jane for the wife !! happens all the time ...*BUT* for the lover ..for sex and for lust and excitement they will use porn , or take a lover that is everything the wife IS NOT !!! (like hot, gorgeous , and fit !!) so you wouldnt say a guy had a problem if he was like that would you !!!??? or would you ??? ..i wouldnt ..as i can understand ...just one more comment ...i have often mentioned a former lover who turned outto be married ..im not seeing but he watched porn and so did ALL of his married workmates and he told me yes of course catherine , they are married BUT they still masturbate , and they like to watch porno films but they still care about thier wives ...Clearly here its a masturabation aid ...it would be very very selfish of me to say ...if i got married "right ..thats it ..as from today , you are never going to masturbate ...unless im present ..and im the one your thinking of " !! were now talking control issues here !! and thats no good wither and i only see contempt and eventual divorce !!...
Personally , do not watch porn or view porn on my own , i have no desire or need or wnat to do that ...i am still single ..if i was dating a guy found porno films in his home say for example i went for coffee jsut happen to spy them ..by dvd player ...i certainly wouldnt stop seeing the guy ..or change my way of thinking of him ..in fact its a sign (to me ) that he is healthy ..he has sexual feeling on regular basis ...and yes he has erections and is attracted to women ...(if its straight porn!) therefore its reasurring me ...this guy is virile and a potential mate !! and possible father of my future child ...ok so i think its healthy ...within a marriage , as ive said much caution is needed and personally i wouldnt be happy ...but this happens and its a fact ...
Regards