kelvy

Are there any men (or women) out there who have falsely been accused of rape or sexual abuse? This something I feel very strongly about; your stories should be heard! I found this line especially heart-wrenching:

"How can this alleged victim sleep at night at the expense of demolishing a man's life? I am literally a shell of a man right now. I'll never be the same. I'm forever scarred by this."

His whole story is too long to post here, but you can read it at:

Is this a wide-spread phenomenon? How many men out there have had their lives ruined by just such an occurrence. It really scares me to my core.

nsfl

My boyfriend has been fighting to see his two children for 3 years. He was NEVER charged with anything, he went through 4 psych tests that all revealed he is a very normal guy and no-one has asked a single question of the mother/accuser. It is the most extraordinarily frustrating and painful display of NON justice I have ever seen!

The "Malicious Mom" syndrome has actually been scientifically documented and still NO-ONE wants to step up and be EQUITABLE. Shouldn't both sides be looked at in cases where malicious behavior and manipulation can be suspected??

I am a woman and have no problems acknowledging our capacity for manipulation. The fact that men are "designed" to protect and women to be protected is not new. Nor is the fact that women use tears to get what they want (most women anyway). We just have that in us. Just like men have competitiveness in them (alpha male / law of the jungle). There's no denying it's there - it's how each of us manage it or submit to it that changes.

Anyway - I am rambling.

My point is it is NOT a rare occurrence (look at the statistics on the web), but there is a preconceived notion that women are to be protected and men who are accused of sexual misconduct of some sort must have done it!

Hope something comes of this... even if it is only that the document I linked to here is broadcast and read by EVERY juvenile court judge in the nation!

rohara

Years ago I was falsely accused of a sexual assault and after being arrested I was released after my alibi checked through. The motivation of the supposed "victim," a girl that I had never even seen before, was to see just how much she could rile up her boyfriend. She was never charged with anything and paid absolutely no consequences for what she did to me.
I was also accused of sexual harassment at work by a female boss who felt threatened by me because I actually showed up on time and did work. She had trouble doing that and she felt that made her look bad. It ended up ruining my career. I couldn't get a good paying job for three years and when I did it was as a beginner in a totally different field.
You would be hard pressed to find any man over the age of 40 who has not to some degree or another been falsely accused by a female of perpetrating some kind of sexual misconduct.
Why does this happen? Well you could say that it is because women are more prone to be manipulative but I think that men and women have the same proclivity to lie and cheat. However, the difference lies in what happens when the accusation is proven false. We must hold all individuals who perpetrate this terrible crime accountable for what they do. Otherwise the behavior becomes rampant. In this country we simply have a very hard time believing that women have the same capacity for wrongdoing as men. Our over idealization of women has led us down a very dangerous path and many a life has been destroyed by this feature of our society.
I will be turning 38 soon and I have never married and probably never will. The reason is because I have seen so much happen in custody cases that just scared the bejezes out of me. It's not because I think that women aren't worth marrying, it’s because of the incredibly unfair divorce and domestic violence/abuse laws in this country and their misuse. I just don't think it's worth the risk.

tornado

my boyfriend just received a sentence of 20 years due to a battle over child custody. In his 2nd marriage he and wife had a child together. Unfortunately my guy cheated on her (with a woman he worked with)... raving mad she accused him of molesting her daughter from a previous marriage so that she would be sure to get the child they shared. She called up wife #1 and persuaded her to do the same so that he would loose parental rights and stories would match. The women are mean, acting out of hurt, but mean. How do they not know this will badly effect the children? The children they so desperately want to have and raise without a father. MEN BE CAREFUL

cshane

Wow. This is a very bad situation to be in. I don't think no man should be falsely accused of this hideous crime if they are innocent. However, those men out there who molest kids, and even raped should pay the price of this. How do some people sleep at night I wonder. If a man is quilty of a sex crime and he has lied about it, then eventually the guilt will eat away at you. If you are a man and you have not at all done this hideous crime but you are still being accused, then hold your head up high and keep moving. You have to have the faith that you will get through it and you will. It can be tough to be accused of a crime like this, and still try to hold your head up high. You got to be strong to get through this and you will. Keep the faith man.

sonoffalselyaccused

I know from experience how vindictive a female can be, even a family member. My dad is standing up against accusations of molestation and rape by my own sister, his daughter. How could somebody be so cruel and munipulative? I would like to know the same thing. But I have yet to speak to her since this all arose.
I have no doubt whatsoever about my dads innocense. We, my family know he is not capable of such things. But knowing and proving are two different things. In todays society, all it takes is an accusation. You must have done it, otherwise why would a girl/woman say such a thing? So then the man is left to prove his innocense, save his life and keep his sanity in the meanwhile. No matter how innocent you may be, there are always those out there that will jump on the train and believe the accusations the girl is throwing left and right.
And what victim goes around telling her story to anyone that will stop and listen. In a true rape/molestation, most females do not want to talk about it,
unless they have to. It is demeaning and shameful to relive. But the female in our case has spread it to the world and back. Has even ran into old friends in the mall and proceeded to tell her little epic. This female (aka: my sister) is a very sick individual, that hopefully will be broken down before this is all over with. She deserves to suffer, the way she has made my dad suffer with her lies. He's lost a number of so called friends, but his family is behind him 100%.
One way or another, the system has to be changed. These vindictive girls/women have to be stopped and held accountable.
For anyone's information: If you are accused of a sex crime and arrested,
it will be listed if anyone (such as business) runs a background check on you.
Does not matter whether it has been to court yet or not, does not matter if
you have not been found guilty yet, it is still listed on your background. If
you are found NOT GUILTY, you will have to fight tooth and nail to have the
arrest record removed. They do not remove it willingly. My feelings are, until you are proven GUILTY, you name should not appear anywhere besides court records, lawyers, bondsmen, etc. Our local newspaper prints indictment every week, with your name and the crime your accused of. An indictment is not a guilty verdict by no means. So the newspaper shouldn't even have access to this information. Like I said, someone needs to start changing these laws to protect all the people.

cshane

I am quite sure you have heard this term before. It's his side, her side and the truth. It is sad to know you may never ever know the truth of what your family is going through with your sister and your dad. So unfortunate. If your sister was molested by your father and it turns out not to be true, then the guilt will eventually eat away at her. If your father is true in what he saids that he has never touched your sister, then he should live with dignity. If he is not telling the truth, then the guilt will eventually eat away at him.....Your sister and your father should discuss this among themselves. The truth has to eventually come out that way.....They have to confront each other about this situation. If they choose not to confront this situation, then it is clear that one is lying and the other is telling the truth...This has to be worked out. If not, you and your family will live with this over your head forever and you will continue not to like your sister....That's sad....You and your family should try to work this out.

CHANDLERS WISH

[QUOTE=cshane;58790]I am quite sure you have heard this term before. It's his side, her side and the truth. It is sad to know you may never ever know the truth of what your family is going through with your sister and your dad. So unfortunate. If your sister was molested by your father and it turns out not to be true, then the guilt will eventually eat away at her. If your father is true in what he saids that he has never touched your sister, then he should live with dignity. If he is not telling the truth, then the guilt will eventually eat away at him.....Your sister and your father should discuss this among themselves. The truth has to eventually come out that way.....They have to confront each other about this situation. If they choose not to confront this situation, then it is clear that one is lying and the other is telling the truth...This has to be worked out. If not, you and your family will live with this over your head forever and you will continue not to like your sister....That's sad....You and your family should try to work this out.[/QUOTE]

I felt, saw the exact same.....

We need to battle, we want to battle, because we want stand up for what is right.

Let nature take it's course, judge no one, and let it all be said in the end....

I am sorry but, there are two sides to ever storey..

She may be supressed from someone, something else, something is eating her, so let her ponder and work it out... and find the truth.

It always comes out.

Stand by both of them, they are both blood, and family and if you believe that your Dad's innocent and he is, it could have been someone else that she fears to tell..

Stand by both.

CW

DeanTong

For starters, folks may want to start educating themselves by reading
Dean Tong, MSc.

sonoffalselyaccused

I understand fully that there are two sides to every story and then there's usually the truth. My parents would love nothing more than to
confront their daughter, but due to lawyers advice, this is not an option.
What I can tell you is, I may not like my sister much right now, but I do
love my sister (the sister my parents raised, not the female she turned out to be). These are two different people. We do not claim to be a perfect family like the one's you see on TV, but we have always been a close family. I know there is no way possible that for 4 years (as she claims) abuse was going on in a 900 sq foot home. Someone would have noticed something unusual, etc. My mom taught us all from an early age about good touching vs bad touching. We always knew that we could go to her
about anything. My parents were always strict, always knew our friends,
always checked out our stories, etc. Nothing got by them or at least not for very long. But now 4 1/2 years later after the fact, my sister wants to stand up and throw accusations around. In the past 4 1/2 years my sister has been completely involved in all family functions, holidays, etc. She now claims she is completely terrified of my dad and is afraid of him doing this to her children of whom she has 3, my niece and two nephews. I guess she forgot about all the family photos and videos in the past 4 1/2
yrs that show she was around, that her children were with my parents a lot, etc. If someone actually committed the kinds of abuse she is claiming,
you would completely steer clear of them, let alone ever allow them contact to your children! Right or Wrong???! My conclusion is, my sister
is out for some type of vengeance, covering up something going on in her own home or just plain went insane. We feel its the covering up, because my parents were starting to notice some strange things and are the type to voice their opinion. At which made my sister and her boyfriend extremely angry. I feel she was afraid of my parents turning her in for something and she decided to jump the to the punch. And my dad abusing her is what they cooked up!!!