and im not a virgin anymore. i use to be embarrased about sex and avoided everything having to do with it. well, i did it and the embarrassment is still there, along with new problems.

I've been with my boyfriend fer a little more than 2 months now. we had sex a little bit ago. it hurt a lotttt. and all the times after our first time it hurt. now it doesn't hurt that much, but i dont feel ANYTHING. no pleasure, no nothing. i feel it in me, just like anyone would feel a popcicle in their mouth. i do get this weird sensation with deep penetration, and i think its suppose to feel good, but i HATE it. it makes me cringe.

and i still feel weird about having sex. i still feel embarrassed and hesitant to do it. he always says 'well, we've done it before, why are you so worried?' and i just dont know. i dont like it. thinking about it makes me nauseous and doing it giving me panic attacks.

BTW i do have severe panic disorder, so this just makes me not wanna do it more, knowing i'll get a panic attack when its over.

Am i just doomed fer my sexual life?