Been having a tough time recently, with my moods, motivation, concentration, everything. It's always there, but it's been verging on the unbearable for the past few weeks.
Got to thinking about my actual quality of life. It's rubbish. I can honestly say I get no pleasure from anything. Nothing brings me joy. I can't feel anything. Love, contentment, happiness, or even bad emotions like sadness and anger. All I ever feel is gloom and fear. The only thing I look forward to is sleep. When I'm asleep I don't have to be concious. That's good. It takes the pain away. Til I get up again.
And It's been like that for years. What kind of existance is this? Why do I keep going to work? Why do I keep paying the bills? Why the hell do I keep listening to other's problems and sympathising with them when I feel so bad myself? Why does my body insist on keeping itself going?
The fact is that I know I will be this way until I die. Worse than any prison sentence. No judge. No jury. No parole.

Well that's that off me chest. How's everyone else feeling??