I don't know what to do with myself.
I feel empty and lost kind of... but more just blank, useless...
I don't know what to do.
I'm at work, getting hit everyday by the boy now.. His Mom knows about his tantrums... she doesn't want it happening any more than I do... we've tried everything that I can think of... She's going back to get help... I think he needs it... we do...
but this isn't about the boy.. That just means that work, which normally distracts me, doesn't...
I feel sad at work too... his anger, which I should separate myself from, because it is just behavior... it's just anger...
I don't... I can't. Not these days. It makes me very sad... + that's my problem... I'm sad anyway...
Work just used to be a refuge from my thoughts... now it's not... now I have a little time to think.. now I'm sad at work too...
+ I'm tired... I don't want to go to work.. I don't want to be at home... there is virtually no refuge...
I'm so tired... I wish I had some help...
I wish I didn't feel so alone...

(blank sadness)

What do I do? What do I say? What's the point?

I can't even talk to friends. There is nothing to talk about...
There only is.
And "is" hurts. It aches from deep inside.