Hes gone. hes actually on his way to africa right now...just got back from the airport. I still cant beleive it...well I must beleive it a bit because I cannot stop crying. I dont know what to do...Im just sat here crying my eyes out, theres noone I can ring...the only person I really want to ring is him and I cant. I cant believ hes actually just left me here. I dont want to do anything, I dont want to eat or sleep, I dont want to cry any more. I know this might seem stupid, that I just compltely stop functioning because my bf has gone away for a while...but he is everything to me! He is the one person in the whole world who can make all the bad feelings go away..and now hes not here I feel like Im being suffocated by them. I want him back...but at the same time I want to learn to live without him, coz this is it now...hes always going to be working away...I just feel so lost now...I dont know how to get used to it