I have been looking after a neighbour who also suffers depression. He knows I suffer from the disease and I help him as much as I possibly can.
Anyway i was picking up and doing quite well up until friday.
He rang me up to pop round and told me to come alone. I did, and got the shock of my life- he had cut his arms to shreds and taken an overdose. I did all I could at the time, rang his family, ambulance etc.
After several hours in casualty and seeing a crisis team they sent him home, saying he wasnt a danger.(his family are disgusted and so am I.).
I went the next day with my hubby to clean up the mess and found knives all over his house what he had used to cut himself with-and they said he wasnt a danger to himself.
The thing is im worried now. i cant get the image out of my head and its really getting to me. Im not sleeping and crying all the time.
I know when his family go back to work this week that they are going to ask me to look after him. I want to but i am scared that he tries to take his life again. I have enough on my plate at the moment-getting over the shock is hard enough.
To be honest with myself I think I am mad with him. I am so annoyed that he would only let me go round to find him in that state. he knows my husband was home and he could have dealt with things better than I. Sorry to go on but i needed to tell someone how I feel-which is pretty **** at the mo.