This is my first time on here. Desparately searching for an answer, I think I already know but am trying to talk myself out of.
I recently married a man who has in the past taken me through a roller coaster of a relationship. He has cheated on me, abused me both emotionally and physically and has the biggest ego I have ever witnessed in anyone. Despite all my reservations, he can be a really charming man and some days I love him so much it hurts me. He has done a really good job on me and I feel like an addict unable to give him up. On friday night, the night before our wedding party, I found him texting a reply to an excolleague who was supposed to be attending our party. He told her he missed her.. He assured me nothing is going on, however, he has done this before with his ex wife and there was something going on there. Anyway when I confronted him he snapped and tried to strangle me, restrained me against a wall and then flung me to the floor, twisting my leg in the process!! after a middle of the night trip to A&E, I foolishly begged him not to go and to put a brave face on for our party - becuase I didn't want to face telling everyone what is going on... He texted his ex wife duirng this time and told her he needed her help. I just don't feel I can trust him at all. He lies all the time and then tries to convinve me it is me being paranoid. He also looses his temper with me on a weekly basis either verbally, emotionally or physically abusing me. Why can I not stop this weak stupid life I am leading with him