Sex is very rare due to me not being attracted to him in that way. He is nice looking and all. I tend to see him as my teenage son. I have to handle most responsibilites of the household: bills, discipline, chores, and the basic day to day family stuff. He does help, when I tell him what to do. Hence the whole teenager thing. I have hardly any respect for him as a man.

I know I have torn him down to you. Let me explain the good. He does have good work ethic and is very helpful with the kids. We do not fight, yell, scream or any of that. No trust issues or violence.

I wonder can love grow from where this situation? He is not in the dark about this. We have discussed it from the beginning. I hate to look at the hurt in his eyes and know that he wants me to want him as he does me. I have tried over the years, but fail. I am so tired from all the responsibility at the end of the day. I am the bread winner and put in about 60 hrs a week, then keep the household running.

This does pain me. I want to be happy with him. I know I could have it worse. I do not want to end up wrecking his and my kids lives because I cannot be happy in this.