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Marriage Discuss everything that has to do with the married life here! Got the best wife in the world? or maybe something small you would like to take off your chest?

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  #1  
Old 08-08-2008, 01:52 PM
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Default Really confused

I'm 30, married for just over a year and already facing trouble... Long story short, my wife and I had several months of really low intimacy due to a medical condition of hers; while it was hard for me at first, I understood it was nobody's fault and basically shut down my sexual drive. Now tough she's "back" again but I can't seem to "wake up"... She tries to be really sweet and sexy but I'm just not interested and now it's me coming up with excuses like I'm tired, I'm stressed, pretending to be asleep, etc... I know it will sound familiar to many out there, but this feels so upside down right now...
We don't have many fights and generally speaking have an open conversation; she asks me from time to time if there's anything wrong, but I really don't know what to say and so I blame the stress from work and money (cliché, I know).
These issues started around 2-3 months ago and, to make matters even worse, around 2 weeks ago I developed a crush for a co-worker bound to be married later this year; we are really good friends, so I told her how I felt and that I thought we shouldn't interact more than necessary as it is not fair for our partners (I have never ever cheated in my life). I didn't want her to think that me keeping the distance was for some weird reason. She basically said that it was fine with her, that it didn't bother her and that in the end it was up to me to decide. She also pointed out that she feels like a sister and nothing more.
So, in the end, I feel like I lost a great friend who made me feel alive and that I gained a friend at home where I'm supposed to have a wife... talk about being messed up...
Talking to my wife about my crush seems kind off pointless as nothing "wrong" happened...
Anyways, any ideas/suggestions?
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  #2  
Old 08-19-2008, 04:49 PM
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Olivia-Grace is on a distinguished road
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Quote:
Originally Posted by funkyguy View Post
I'm 30, married for just over a year and already facing trouble... Long story short, my wife and I had several months of really low intimacy due to a medical condition of hers; while it was hard for me at first, I understood it was nobody's fault and basically shut down my sexual drive. Now tough she's "back" again but I can't seem to "wake up"... She tries to be really sweet and sexy but I'm just not interested and now it's me coming up with excuses like I'm tired, I'm stressed, pretending to be asleep, etc... I know it will sound familiar to many out there, but this feels so upside down right now...
We don't have many fights and generally speaking have an open conversation; she asks me from time to time if there's anything wrong, but I really don't know what to say and so I blame the stress from work and money (cliché, I know).
These issues started around 2-3 months ago and, to make matters even worse, around 2 weeks ago I developed a crush for a co-worker bound to be married later this year; we are really good friends, so I told her how I felt and that I thought we shouldn't interact more than necessary as it is not fair for our partners (I have never ever cheated in my life). I didn't want her to think that me keeping the distance was for some weird reason. She basically said that it was fine with her, that it didn't bother her and that in the end it was up to me to decide. She also pointed out that she feels like a sister and nothing more.
So, in the end, I feel like I lost a great friend who made me feel alive and that I gained a friend at home where I'm supposed to have a wife... talk about being messed up...
Talking to my wife about my crush seems kind off pointless as nothing "wrong" happened...
Anyways, any ideas/suggestions?
yes i understand ..but if you say to yourself ...amrriage is supposed to be for *life* you are now 30 i would ask yourself one question only you can answer ..can i see myself growing old still together at 70 plus with my wife ..?? ok, yes i understand its only been one year but i think you need to sit down and talk becuse if you dont this problem will escalate ...theres no need to blame the other woman or mention her by talking about her to your wife this i think would be shifting the blame ...and taking the problem between you and your wife off your shoulders !! plus the woman didnt do anything wrong the problem is between you and your wife and you two alone ..id just like to say good luck and hope you sort it out .
regards
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Old 10-18-2008, 01:23 PM
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I think if you are experiencing such a low intimacy then you need to consult physician..to treat yourself in right manner..

As the love life is defendant upon the sexual life /.
And sexual life also should be healthy..so move forward and dont ever hesitate to meet your physican
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