To all of you that responded to the lady who had the question, would you leave him if you caught him cheating. Do you really think that it began when he started cheating. I have been married for 7 years, and have a wonderful 5 yr old son. I do not want to divorce my wife but our sex life has gone from on fire to on ice. We have sex at most 4 times a year. I try and stay fit, provide a nice home and income. I don't drink, am not abusive either verbally, or physically, in other words I am attempting to make sure it is not me that is the problem. I attempt to help around the house, and compliment her. She states that she has no desire, her hormones are off, she does not feel pretty. This is has not lasted a month, this is over 5 years of this. I don't know if she is having an affair and don't believe I would get a straight answer. It is at this point that I would either have to pay for it or have an affair. I am not into paying for it. I have tried not to push her or hold the lack of sex over her head, but she knows that I am not happy with our sex life. I do know that the friends I have known that have had extra marital affairs, the problems did not start with when he/she started the affair.