Intimacy on Social, Mental, Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual? I'd put us at a 1 across the board. We know we are in trouble and every day is a roller coaster ride of emotions and frustrations. We've been married 24 years and have 3 terrific kids (18, 16, 15). My husband and I are flip-flopped . . . Because I had two years of college and potential to earn more, I am the worker and he has juggled home, kids, while doing various jobs. We set up our own business 11 years because he wanted to do sales and I had the business background - so it was something we could do together. I put all my extra energy into the kids and I'm not too sorry about that, but he felt ignored about 8-9 years ago and we had just gotten a computer so he got into pornography on the internet. On top of that, his family background is awful - never loved by his dad so he had no relationship with him. His mom is bi-polar/manic depressive and she wasn't around most of his life either. He fights the same tendencies but refuses to be treated for it. To find a solution, he went to counseling, deliverance, countless conferences, personal retreats, fasting, etc. In the meantime I held down the fort at home and work so that he could get it worked out. Because of that we lost connection spiritually as well. I am overweight, so he is disgusted by me. 2 years after being married we left Alaska and he has never forgiven me for that. He feels like a fish out of water - he's not happy doing what we do, but he doesn't have a clue what to go do. Just go back to Alaska and that would solve everything. But the difference is that we left there 22 years ago and he has had 2 hip replacements (admittedly due to his bitterness and resentment rotting his bones) - things won't be the same. He doesn't have a plan. I was not a spiritually mature person when we were married and he was very "religious". I have a very deep love and trust in God - if I didn't I know we wouldn't have made it this far. But he holds it against me that I didn't let him read the Bible enough, or go on a retreat when we were first married. He is frustrated that we don't do regular bible study with the kids. We did when they were young (thank God), but honestly when he got so far out with his conferences and up/down depression it didn't make sense to the kids to study the Bible and then have him get real angry over something and bang down doors or threaten to leave. They didn't see the witness in him, only heard the preaching. We are trying to start it up again, but he doesn't want to participate because we didn't do it the past few years. I figure we have to start somewhere. We don't have friends because he only wants to talk about spiritual stuff. He has no other interests or hobbies. Recently he got into a verbal altercation with my full-time employee and she has quit. So I am stuck running the business alone (or with him when he chooses to show up and participate). Until recently I felt that we could work these things, and I want to hold to our vows. But I'm starting to think that for the better of the kids, and perhaps him (since he sometimes talks about committing suicide), that we should just separate and let him go "find himself". So, all that said, I'll take suggestions on any front.