07-14-2008, 10:00 AM
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Gold Contributor 500+ Posts
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 793
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Help, We're Stuck
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I wanted to ask how you feel about husbands and wives spending time without their spouse. I've been married for almost 12 years. My husband does not like being alone, so, for most of our marriage we are rarely apart except for when we are at work. He is also the jealous and untrusting type. Subsequently, neither he nor I have many individual friendships. He works a lot and so do I (this includes my time at my job and when I'm working in the home), so that's partly why. We do spend time on occasion with other couples, but he has always had a problem with me spending time with a girlfriend if he doesn't have the same time scheduled to be out with a male friend or some other activity. Also, after arriving home from work I never have time for myself after I feed us, our pets, do laundry, get ready for the next day's work, etc. Yet, after he gets home from work, he may water the yard a couple times a week (in the summer), make some phone calls, and then wants to be fed. After which he will spend the rest of his evening either resting, watching TV, or working out in our little makeshift gym in our garage. Which brings me back to my question. Since I have no time during the week for myself, I've begun taking 4 hours on Saturday and on Sunday to go horseback riding, a passion I gave up many years ago. My husband doesn't like it because he has to be alone during that time. I've tried to discuss it with him and suggest that if he would help me during the week, then we could spend more time together in the evenings during the week. I guess my beef is that he is able to do what he wants to do with his time, yet when I try to take some for myself, he resents it and says I'm tearing the marriage apart. And, until now, I've never been able to make plans without his permission or approval, but I just couldn't take it anymore. He also tells me I'm selfish. I've suggested counseling many times, but he refuses. I give time at church, we go to bible study on Friday nights, and church on Sunday, so I don't know what else to do. Any insight you have would be greatly appreciated.
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