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Marriage Discuss everything that has to do with the married life here! Got the best wife in the world? or maybe something small you would like to take off your chest?

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Old 07-14-2008, 10:00 AM
Gold Contributor 500+ Posts
Join Date: Jul 2008
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kelvy is on a distinguished road
Default Trying to hang on

My husband admitted to an affair with a lesbian co worker that started last fall emotionally and physically this past Feb. Our first child, Lucas, was born last Oct. I have been so busy criticising my husband for everything that you can imagine for almost 9 years; but not consisteny. I have dug deep and poured myself into His word, reading relevant books, praying a lot, and seeking counsel. My husbands job, we moved 3,000 miles to get away, has his working out of town at least half the time each month. He hasn't broken off communicating with this person...because he doesn't know if he wants the family life with me. He has been reading lots of things on divorce, researching it (did so with this other woman before moving), and has walked away from the Lord. I have been realizing how much damage my critical tongue, how my pushing him away sexually, and being a controlling person has hurt us tremendously. I am trying to hold on and work on my end...keep praying for my husbands salvation, and praying. It's difficult to work with a person on repairing things when they seem like they are wanting to just walk away. I know what God has called me to do as his wife: work on my issues since I can control that, be obedient to the Lord in all things, and treat my husband with love, kindness, compassion, respect, etc despite how he is to me. It's difficiult because I know that I pushed my husband in the direction that he has gone, even though it was his decision to have the affair. I didn't help matters. I know that the Lord hears me but I guess I am asking for some encouragement/advice for today...my husband wont' talk to me that much and just having a general conversation with him can be difficult...I feel shut out a lot; but I guess that is how he has felt for a long time. Please help.
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