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Old 07-14-2008, 09:46 AM
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Default Dealing with Defensiveness

I love my husband dearly (we've been married four years), but am troubled by his defensiveness and would like some advice on how to deal with it. I'm careful to not be a critical or nagging wife, but I find that even in casual conversation he seems to feel the need to defend who he is, what he's done, or how he thinks. For example, I recently made a casual observation about how a professional golfer executes a particular shot with great consistency, and how I wished I could do same thing. My husband's immediate response was "Yeah, I follow that same swing pattern and usually have the same result." What troubles me is that his focus was instantly on himself instead of acknowledging the other person's ability or the particular shot selection. This golf example is trite, but this is the type of pattern I often see in him. It's starting to make me clam-up, and I'm also concerned that the defensiveness is robbing him of seeing the good in others and listening objectively to their point of view. Any advice?
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