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Dating Discuss everything that has to do with the dating world here! Anything that you would like to take off your chest?

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Old 03-21-2008, 07:31 AM   #1
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Default Long Distance Relationships

I would like to hear from anyone who has experience of long distance relationships.

Mine hangs in the balance!

Do you think they can work?
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Old 05-17-2008, 07:14 PM   #2
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[QUOTE=ralph;11507]I would like to hear from anyone who has experience of long distance relationships.

Mine hangs in the balance!

Do you think they can work?[/QUOTE Hi Ralph ...yes they can work work and im sure many do ..

I have had quite a number of long distance relationships in my life so far , quite a number where i met the guy when i travelled on vacation ...had what is known as a holiday romance and it carried on ..the guy coming to England . My first one was when i vsited Malta i met Italian guy (im sure hes happily married now) so Mauro if you are reading this ...im sure you dont mind me talking about it.

He was lovely and he came for a number of stays with me at my parents home , we wrote and spoke on phone (no sms then) so we had some wonderful handwritten memories - i still have his letters .

I just think it fizzled out ...i was 19 or 20 he was 25 ....but i suppose i felt i was too young and would miss my mum if i moved to Milan , where i live is very quiet ...over the years similar things with guys from my own country or abroad i met ...they can work , there is no reason why they shouldnt if there is love and both parties are free from family commitments, as im sure that could be difficult. But they say absence makes the heart grow fonder and id go with that ..

Wishing you all the best , and dont worry , where there is love theres a WAY ....

Cathy
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Old 05-17-2008, 07:17 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by RICONUS View Post
Ask me after the 30th.

I have been in one for 6 months, meet for the first time in 2 weeks, or just under...

He will be staying with me for a few days and we will see from there.

Now he lives in England, me Australia although he travels here and will be moving here in 18 months.

If it works, what a love story, it would need to be in a book i feel...

18 months? Seriously, let alone 6, lol....

But put it this way, i have every intention of it doing so, the strong can do anything they want to....
This sound very exciting Ric , please do post more on this im very eager to hear some great news ...yes i agree this could turn out to be a great love story ...i am a big softie for some good old fashioned romance.

Have fun

All the best
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Old 05-18-2008, 08:27 PM   #4
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[QUOTE=RICONUS;14516]
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dare-devil 2

And, do a bit of homework, ( as i did ) .
Yes ...well i did sy what i said , where there is love there is a way, but im sure all on the forum got the general gist i was referring to a situation where you have met a guy (face to face ) youve dated him ect and perhaps hes come to visit or he has stayed in a hotel, as with mauro that time , 3 weeks in my parents home , two weeks on another time in a hotel near my home . I met him when i was with my parents in Malta, so you know, that was the way it was .

If we are talking here about internet dating , particularly with a guy from another country, but even so a persons own home time, the thing i would like to say is i would use extreme caution , A phone is a phone , a computer is a computer , UNTIL the woman has met that guy, i would personally NOT advise a strange guy she has never dated , or met or anything to stay in that persons home ..where you are in a situation you are ALONE with that man , a stranger but you have spoken on the phone and even if you feel that connection .

Before people read and disagree , i believe and from what i have read of him Ted Bundy , im sure you were aware of how personable and how respectable and nice outwardly he was with women !! and it was said charming man !! but he wasnt was he ??? not that i am suggesting or comparing in any way ..BUT any woman alone must be aware of the risks of letting a strange man from another country come and stay in her home ...they are on there best behaviour on the phone , of course they would be !...they are showing the side they want you to see , you have to be aware this *MAY* not be who they are and take precautions , personally i would advise a first time viti with internet connection , a hotel , date and have all the fun you would as if he stayed in your home but for me its just my opionion its dangerous , that bis how some women have been raped , murdered or perhps the man has turned violent and aggressive .

If you do not have all medical records , any proof he has no previous convictions , he has not been to prison , has he got any kids is he living with women back in the country he resides or has a girlfriend or and does he have any sti ..i certainly wouldnt be foolish with that !!! the list goes on ...not to say dont have fun ...but there is only so many so called checks you can do ...if this was me ...what checks could i do for a USA guy id met online (nothing)!!! except listen to what he tells me ...its important to be aware of that but perhaps i would disagree and say the hotel option certainly for the first visit or at least till youve met the guy once . Blind dating is supposed to be fun, they sound lovely on th phone but be very different in real life .

That was all the point i was making on this woman alone in house with strange guy , even with the italian guy , i was careful and i KNEW him ...and at least my parents or somebody was in the home he had my brothers room , it was still great fun , nice meals together and everything else , but not sex i must be honest , parents home and frankly this guy ws really too nice to try but you know , we had some nice momnets .

Now we are grown up, we dont need mums in the house but we need to be sensible and take care not to let sweet words just carry us away .

I hope it works for you riconus , just take care and be aware of your safety.

Catherine xxx see i love romance ..but im practical woman !! you have to be and you have to take care
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Old 05-19-2008, 07:09 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by RICONUS View Post
So i guess the lesson here is, guys, if you are young, assume we will all be "Mothers" and try to protect bit like the father standing there with a baseball bat on the first date.

Of course, if we are mature, then we should know the score in that regard but warning are welcomed in my instance, so thank you Catherine.

I'm safe, he's a cop, know where he works to, so do my family, no flys on me...

But, long distance can mean "interstate" only a hop and a skip by plane but sooo far away.

Still difficult.. So work with the trust, once established and add the excitement on-going to keep the flame alive is the best advice i can offer in that regard.
Well ric , let me tell you something abouts the police , having dated cops - you have a lot to learn in my experience ..THEY ARE THE WORST ...lot of them are divorced and lot of them violent ...im allowed to say that IM BRITISH amd im posting from england about british policemen ok ..and a little bit of sarcasm ric, as the mum or dad standing with the baseball bat ?? yeh ..wwhen you have kids yourself, but as at 45 i presume you wont be now you will not be having maternal feelings to protect your daughter and me at just turned 40 this april , i fully intend to have kids and yes, i will be looking after my ndaughter , thats whats mothers do with thier own flesh and blood . It must of been hard for my mum and dad to come to terms with only two years after that , thier daughter was raped in my own parents house ...dad must of felt like a faliure when he was out at work and wasnt there to protect me ....oh well ...these things happen ..i made a sensible comment ..but because your five years older you seem to think ..know everything . It would of been nicer just to say , yes thank you , i apprieciate the concern for another woman . But perhaps rick your not a woman ...ohhh this internet .
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Old 05-19-2008, 07:43 AM   #6
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Well ric , let me tell you something abouts the police , having dated cops - you have a lot to learn in my experience ..THEY ARE THE WORST ...lot of them are divorced and lot of them violent ...im allowed to say that IM BRITISH amd im posting from england about british policemen ok ..and a little bit of sarcasm ric, as the mum or dad standing with the baseball bat ?? yeh ..wwhen you have kids yourself, but as at 45 i presume you wont be now you will not be having maternal feelings to protect your daughter and me at just turned 40 this april , i fully intend to have kids and yes, i will be looking after my ndaughter , thats whats mothers do with thier own flesh and blood . It must of been hard for my mum and dad to come to terms with only two years after that , thier daughter was raped in my own parents house ...dad must of felt like a faliure when he was out at work and wasnt there to protect me ....oh well ...these things happen ..i made a sensible comment ..but because your five years older you seem to think ..know everything . It would of been nicer just to say , yes thank you , i apprieciate the concern for another woman . But perhaps rick your not a woman ...ohhh this internet .
Yeh and ricky..if the policeman guy has got a problem with what i said on the internet as he is british ...tell him to see me ok !! i tell him agin the same comment to his face ...
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Old 05-20-2008, 06:13 AM   #7
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if you are mature you should know what your doing?well, i dont think i should answer this !!!! you said it

I'm 45 no children? Your 40? Do you know me? daft question ???

Cops are the worse? YES ...THEY ARE ...why bother with the question mark ??????. i take it he TOLD you he was a policemanyes nothing like gaining the trust of a vunerable woman !! ...you can trust ME im a cop!!! yehhhh right ...sorry but ive got a valid point there !! almost as good as your ok with me, im a gynecologist!! now let me take a look

Bottom line is, i was replying to this particular thread. And, i state again, i did my checking and this is important for long distance realationships.And i will state again , if your living in the USA , youve never met or dated a man who is living here in England, just spoken for six months its fairly obvious you dont know anything about that guy ...he could be doing anything

Motherly advice? Again, thank you Catherine... I am sure i was suggesting that we as woman will always offer, that "instinct" Motherly advice. well ,you dont do you, because if you had kids you prob encourage them to do the same as you did regarding internet dating .

However, I am a mature woman and as such, i will make my own decisions in life... yes, you are a mature woman, nobody was TELLING you what to do, i was offering safety advice NOT TELLING YOU..

Advice always welcomed. It obviously WASNT!! , was it ricky

There was nothing pertaining to you personally, rather my thoughts on long distance relationships.
.............................
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Old 05-20-2008, 06:30 AM   #8
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Your welcome to your "opinion"...

Pretty, pretty sure i offered my opinion of "check guys" on whom your dating in a long distance relationship.

I trust no police read this ?

Thank you for your opinion....................
I trust no police read this ???what are you frightened of Rick !! your obvviously VERY intimidated by the police ??? thats not good at all is it ...its a shame Padre's who are officers in the navy BUSY 24 hours a day and on call 24 hours a day like my brother ...i didnt see you posting over religious bigotry on WH ??? and i HAVE dated a policeman i told you that before ..Ireland ! remember Rick dear ! so dont be a silly girl .
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Old 05-20-2008, 06:40 AM   #9
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Actually, this being about long distant relationships, be honest with your partner, and discuss whether you want children or not.

I am NOT 45, and i can have children if i so desire, but that's a usual assumption, if i was exactly 45, irrespective there is no age barrier, if you are healthy, but certainly a good point.

Discuss this with your partner, as to whether or not you BOTH desire children in this relationship.

Long distance, or normal distance is not relevant, if your looking towards any form of future and have reached that stage of your life with a loving partner, make sure your both "clear" on the subject.

Important, if one does, one doesn't and you spend say 3 yrs, in a "wrong" relationship, long distance or not.......
Long distance or "normal" distance as you call it and what ric, exactly is "normal" distance in your opinion ??? you talk in riddles as your first comment, this being about long distance realtionships and then discussing kids? im going by what you told me ric, dont play around on here and say something to confuse ...Its obvious the distance is relevent !! particulary with England and USA , i personally think and only my opinion thinking of a loving partner and kids with a guy who youve never met is BIZARRE ...english guys who pick a Asian bride via the net ?? loving partners have kids ect ..yes but thats because they want a new life in good old Britain ,,,no 19 year old young girl marries these guys for love !! please start getting into reality , your head is in the clouds rick , whats going on ??
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Old 05-20-2008, 06:45 AM   #10
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.............................
Also Rick if he is a policeman, hed be backing me up ! why?? because hed be spending or should be spending his working hours DEALING with women who have been attacked or assaulted and warning or should be of the dangers of trusting strange men inviting them in the home > After all thats his JOB !! so hed fully understand what i was saying , but lets hope he turns out to be one of the good ones !! because not all of them are !!.
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