Girlfriends past - Men's Health Information, Including Fitness, Nutrition, Weight Loss, Working Out & Sex

Disturbed · 01-13-2009, 02:43 AM

I have been in a relationship with my current girlfriend for the past 2 years. I love her and I do plan on marrying her some day. My problem is that she has a past that I really didnt know about before I fell in love with her. She had 3 high school boyfriends with whom she was intiment with. But after the third left her she went to a part and had gotten high and drunk and left to go to an aquaintences house. There were 3 guys there and she had sex with them and oral sex with one. After this incident about a month later she went to a work related party and had gotten drunk and was taken the a bedroom by a guy she knew in high school, had sex with him and at least two other guys came in the room after he left and had sex with her although she only remembers "seeing" the second come into the room. The next day she wakes up and there are 3 or 4 condoms on the floor beside the bed. After the second incident she never drank again away from her friends but went to work in a pool hall where she had at least 4 or 5 one night stands. She has been with 16 people total and for the past 2 years on almost a daily basis I think about her past and think bad of her. I dont know how to put this behind me and get on with my life so maybe someone has some ideas that would help me out!

Tuesday · 01-13-2009, 03:08 PM

So What...she's got a past. If you had of had sex with more than one girl at a time on more than one occasion your friends would be in awe of you. it's the old double standards again....

lakerat · 01-17-2009, 05:06 PM

Has she done anything since you have been with her? ...Sounds like she has been honest about her past with you. In all honesty what she did before you is history....cant be changed...as long as she hasnt brought it along with her then it realy shouldnt be a worry...........Would be a shame to lose someone ya care about over something that happend when you werent even around.

At my age we all have a past.....its a part of life

Good luck

Jakesterr · 03-27-2009, 08:00 PM

I can understand you feeling bad about her past but it's the past now. You're with her for 2 years so I assume you love her. But as long as she's learned from those experiences and wants to be with you now, why dredge up old ****? If she goes out and does it tomorrow then it's a different story.

Endurnz · 05-03-2009, 03:20 AM

YOu need to learn what about this behavior makes her happy. Or re-enforces the bad feeling she had. Its not what she is doing but why. And the answer will not be the obvious one. The obvious one is a foil.

**SinisterUrge** · 07-09-2009, 11:20 AM

1. Women are not bars of soap. They do not wear down a little bit everytime somebody takes a shower.

2. So what? From my perspective you have a girl who really enjoys sex. Sucks to be you, huh?

3. You've only ever been with one woman, right?

4. Reality check, 16 is not a big number. I know women who went through 20+ in highschool alone.

5. Lastly, out of the dozen or so guys she's been with, only you have warranted a 2 year monogamous sexual relationship. Doesn't sound like you're doing too bad between the sheets.

melisadenny · 07-13-2009, 03:12 AM

I think that you must to take interest in your girlfriend's present.

jonnie_rocks · 07-25-2009, 06:08 PM

None of it involved you or impacted you in anyway, so are you even concerned?

Today is the first day of the rest of your life! Who cares about history when all that matters is your future and possible future together?

Work on you, work on being the best friend, lover, partner that you are capable of...

History, hers or yours, means nothing...to this relationship.

StarkBotha · 07-26-2009, 03:13 AM

Dude, your real problem here is your insecurity. You're afraid that you're not good enough for her sexually. Maybe one day she'll wake up and think ("my gosh i miss having sex with more than one man and my current bf is just not satisfying me") Right?

Its normal, believe me. You have to get over it man, you have to believe that you are good enough for her (she is with you after all). Give her the benefit of the doubt here, you owe her that. Trust her and love her, dont be afraid of losing her because usually that just brings exactly what you fear.

I feel sorry for the poor girl, she got hurt really really badly. So badly that she wanted to sub-consciously destroy herself, debase herself because she felt that she was worth nothing. With you all of that has changed, so give yourself a pat on the back. Just imagine how it will damage her if you had to break up with her because of this!!! After she trusted you enough and loved you so much that she didnt want to keep any secrets from you!!! You are a lucky man.

Blackdrea, · 02-02-2010, 03:57 AM

Hi i' was in a similar situation. My wife didn't tell me about her past until we got married. She was the first and only woman i have had sex with, while she has had more than 20 men before she married me. She had also experienced group sex with up to 4-5 men many times, and had 4-5 one-night-stands. She has had sex with some of my friends as well and had even cheated on me with my friend the day before our wedding.
I was shocked and very upset upon hearing that from her and felt cheated..I ignored her for a week or so and pondering on my marriage...but in the end my love for her won over and i decided to accept her and cherish her. We have been married for almost 1 1/2 yrs now and i still love her very much. We have a 16 month old son.

01-13-2009, 02:43 AM	#1
Disturbed Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1	Girlfriends past I have been in a relationship with my current girlfriend for the past 2 years. I love her and I do plan on marrying her some day. My problem is that she has a past that I really didnt know about before I fell in love with her. She had 3 high school boyfriends with whom she was intiment with. But after the third left her she went to a part and had gotten high and drunk and left to go to an aquaintences house. There were 3 guys there and she had sex with them and oral sex with one. After this incident about a month later she went to a work related party and had gotten drunk and was taken the a bedroom by a guy she knew in high school, had sex with him and at least two other guys came in the room after he left and had sex with her although she only remembers "seeing" the second come into the room. The next day she wakes up and there are 3 or 4 condoms on the floor beside the bed. After the second incident she never drank again away from her friends but went to work in a pool hall where she had at least 4 or 5 one night stands. She has been with 16 people total and for the past 2 years on almost a daily basis I think about her past and think bad of her. I dont know how to put this behind me and get on with my life so maybe someone has some ideas that would help me out!

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01-13-2009, 03:08 PM	#2
Tuesday Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Uk Posts: 5	So What...she's got a past. If you had of had sex with more than one girl at a time on more than one occasion your friends would be in awe of you. it's the old double standards again....

01-17-2009, 05:06 PM	#3
lakerat Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 13	Has she done anything since you have been with her? ...Sounds like she has been honest about her past with you. In all honesty what she did before you is history....cant be changed...as long as she hasnt brought it along with her then it realy shouldnt be a worry...........Would be a shame to lose someone ya care about over something that happend when you werent even around. At my age we all have a past.....its a part of life Good luck

03-27-2009, 08:00 PM	#4
Jakesterr Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: NYC Posts: 2	I can understand you feeling bad about her past but it's the past now. You're with her for 2 years so I assume you love her. But as long as she's learned from those experiences and wants to be with you now, why dredge up old ****? If she goes out and does it tomorrow then it's a different story.

05-03-2009, 03:20 AM	#5
Endurnz Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 16	YOu need to learn what about this behavior makes her happy. Or re-enforces the bad feeling she had. Its not what she is doing but why. And the answer will not be the obvious one. The obvious one is a foil.

07-09-2009, 11:20 AM	#6
SinisterUrge Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 274	1. Women are not bars of soap. They do not wear down a little bit everytime somebody takes a shower. 2. So what? From my perspective you have a girl who really enjoys sex. Sucks to be you, huh? 3. You've only ever been with one woman, right? 4. Reality check, 16 is not a big number. I know women who went through 20+ in highschool alone. 5. Lastly, out of the dozen or so guys she's been with, only you have warranted a 2 year monogamous sexual relationship. Doesn't sound like you're doing too bad between the sheets.

07-13-2009, 03:12 AM	#7
melisadenny Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 6	I think that you must to take interest in your girlfriend's present.

07-25-2009, 06:08 PM	#8
jonnie_rocks Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 6	None of it involved you or impacted you in anyway, so are you even concerned? Today is the first day of the rest of your life! Who cares about history when all that matters is your future and possible future together? Work on you, work on being the best friend, lover, partner that you are capable of... History, hers or yours, means nothing...to this relationship.

07-26-2009, 03:13 AM	#9
StarkBotha Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: South Africa Posts: 14	Dude, your real problem here is your insecurity. You're afraid that you're not good enough for her sexually. Maybe one day she'll wake up and think ("my gosh i miss having sex with more than one man and my current bf is just not satisfying me") Right? Its normal, believe me. You have to get over it man, you have to believe that you are good enough for her (she is with you after all). Give her the benefit of the doubt here, you owe her that. Trust her and love her, dont be afraid of losing her because usually that just brings exactly what you fear. I feel sorry for the poor girl, she got hurt really really badly. So badly that she wanted to sub-consciously destroy herself, debase herself because she felt that she was worth nothing. With you all of that has changed, so give yourself a pat on the back. Just imagine how it will damage her if you had to break up with her because of this!!! After she trusted you enough and loved you so much that she didnt want to keep any secrets from you!!! You are a lucky man.

02-02-2010, 03:57 AM	#10
Blackdrea, Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 6	Hi i' was in a similar situation. My wife didn't tell me about her past until we got married. She was the first and only woman i have had sex with, while she has had more than 20 men before she married me. She had also experienced group sex with up to 4-5 men many times, and had 4-5 one-night-stands. She has had sex with some of my friends as well and had even cheated on me with my friend the day before our wedding. I was shocked and very upset upon hearing that from her and felt cheated..I ignored her for a week or so and pondering on my marriage...but in the end my love for her won over and i decided to accept her and cherish her. We have been married for almost 1 1/2 yrs now and i still love her very much. We have a 16 month old son.